i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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