I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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