He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
