They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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