I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
