i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
