everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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