Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Where is the hickey?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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