I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
