There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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