I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
