I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
