My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
