one two three fourrrrnication!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
