dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
