i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
