okay pat passed out under dana's car
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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