Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
