im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
