Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
