He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
