erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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