I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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