Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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