and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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