You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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