She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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