Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
