your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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