id be glad to
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
