we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
