i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
