Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
