My nipple is on Facebook.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
