i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want a musical about memes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
