Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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