watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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