She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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