Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
