I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Fuck appropriateness.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
