Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
