No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
