A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
