If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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