Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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