I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
