Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A+ Viking dick
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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