he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She bit a glass in half.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
