Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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