also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
