He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dick very happy bro
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
