Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
